13 definitions by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle

Top Definition
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.

South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
#fishy macswell is full of shit #vampire turkey #banished from south africa for being fat and bent #barbecued nogtard liver #its my cone-maxwells
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 29 במאי, 2009
The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
#bargain bucket of ice cream #fat sweaty nogger #swapped my bog for gingers #spack dancer's pet #the beast of patrick road
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 1 באוגוסט, 2009
A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
#worksop giant #my neck hurts from looking up #5' 10is ridiculously tall,head in the clouds,big show is a midget,neil cakes
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 28 ביולי, 2009
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels:

1 ugly

2 pug ugly

3 fugly

4 pug fugly

5 super pug fugly

6 scotch fugly
#ugly bastard #repulsive old twat #dog-frighteningly ugly #grotesque old dickhead #scotch fugly girlfriend
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 29 ביולי, 2009
The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.

Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
#i'm almost as important as i am fat and ugly #boring old bastard #boyfriend of a horse #summer=2 barbecues per day #terrified of rain
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 1 באוגוסט, 2009

Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.

The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?

No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.
#curry hat #filthy foreigners #balti for brains #dog-shit vindaloo #ugly
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 31 ביולי, 2009
Generic name for a Maltby employee who is not a Maltby Hero. This worthless cretin removed Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone from the back of the Maltby Lorry and should be sacked from the glorious company of Maltby.
Where's Nogtard's Bog gone? Thought the Maltby men were all heroes.

That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
#nogtard's bog #pork scotch cone #maltby heroes #the genius of maltby #hang the bastard
מאת by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle 1 באוגוסט, 2009
דוא"ל יומי חינם

הקלידו את כתובת האימייל שלכם למטה כדי לקבל בחינם את מילת היום של המילון האורבני כל בוקר!

אימיילים נשלחים מהכתובת daily@urbandictionary.com. לעולם לא נשלח לכם דואר זבל.