Any (usually) white American
male that attempts, sometimes successfully, to convince everyone around
them that they are not a bro, despite a certain and varying penchant for decidedly bro-like activities or beliefs; frequently using sexual experience to demand respect
from one's friends, expressing a desire to fight others, an enjoyment and subsequent short-lived obsession with whatever
mainstream rap song is currently "hot", open objectification of women, using ability
and ever-readiness to drink heavily to assert dominance and respect within
group, etc. are all telltale signs
of a Closet
Bro's true nature.
level what they are, and are afraid to admit, perhaps even to themselves, their bro-tendencies. They guard themselves against reality
by vehemently proclaiming a hatred for bros; this only serves
the situation, making their bro-ness even more painfully obvious to their peers.
Mike: Hey man, I heard
you were hanging out with Vanessa. How's that
Kyle: Dude, I hit it and quit
bitch don't mean sh-
Mike: Closet Bro! You!
Dave: So Kyle was giving
me a ride home, right? And we're sitting at a stoplight, when all of a sudden he turns
on the radio and starts
blasting a T Pain song. I just opened my door and got out.
Paul: I always kind of suspected that
guy was a bro.